December 29, 2024 At St Agnes and St William Churches in Naples, FL
Sirach 3: 2-6, 12-14 + Psalm 128 + Colossians 2:12-21 + Luke 2: 41-52
We assemble here today with a challenge given to us by a Church that calls this “The Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” Curiously, we heard an Old Testament reading right out of an ancient patriarchal family structure that offers some wisdom but would lead us to believe that this “son” being addressed is an only child without sister. It’s really all about the father and the son.
Then, after some verses from Paul’s Letter to the Colossians, we hear about a couple with a problem child. This 12-year-old has a mind of his own getting separated from his parents and their traveling companions. The consequence of his decision causes desperation and considerable worry on the part of his parents who must have searched frantically for three days. I doubt that they slept at all.
Neither one of these two readings give us much to admire much less imitate. It might just be that the focus here is not about some particular family unit. In these times when the whole idea of “family” is being re-defined we need to expand our notion of “family” and begin to see ourselves first as part of the human family – the family of God. If we could get that right, it might possibly help individual families find a way to holiness.
As a celibate priest I have always found it a bit short-sighted for people to suggest that I have no family or have given up having a family. I have been a member of several large families, and never felt alone or left out. Twenty-first century families are quite different from the family described in that first reading. Families today may well consist of single parents, same-sex parents, foster or adoptive parents, stepparents, or grandparents with custody. All that “wise” advice in the Book of Sirach makes me wonder about how “wise” that advise is for children suffering within harmful families where there is abuse or violence.
It’s at this point that St Paul makes a lot of sense, writing to the Colossians. He speaks up about what makes a family. He reminds us all that mutual love and respect are the foundation for all relationships. Without mutual love and without respect, there is no family, and this is what Luke shows us in this story about a 12-year-old growing up. He shows us wise parents who love a child that hurts them and still respects that child’s need to do what he believes he must do.
When all of God’s children see themselves as God’s family and look upon each other as brothers and sisters with love and respect, I sincerely believe that individual family units will be stronger and every one of them will be as close as we ever can be to holiness.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are not the only Holy Family. The wisdom of the Church reminds us today that we are all called to learn the way of love, and that in this human family there are elders and those who are younger. The way of love leads elders to act respectfully, to share with the young wisdom gained form experience and to be open to the wisdom learned from the young as well. This calls for compassion as both the young and the elders bear with one another patiently and kindly. Both struggle with mistakes, and both know disappointment that deserves forgiveness when expectations are not met and feelings get hurt.
It is these things that will shape us all into a family that is truly holy.